It has been a almost a year since
I have added anything to my blog.
I know I need to bring it up to date,
but right now, I do not know where
to begin. I have been looking at the
notes I have jotted down for future
posts and still feel overwhelmed.
I saw this piece that I wrote years
ago and it made me laugh, once
again. It will be out of context, but
perhaps that is what I need to do to
get me back on schedule.
So, I am going to go back 15- 1/2
years and clear my head with a
little bit of trivia.
May 10, 2002
Yesterday, I had a I had a very
interesting day. I first, I wanted
to yell and scream and cuss, then
I wanted to cry; Finally, I adapted
an "Oh,well" attitude, then it got
a little funny, and this morning, I.
find it hilarious.
This is the story of that day: I
followed George out to his van,
through the garage, as he was
leaving to go to work at 7:00 a.m.
I was carrying some toast I had
made for him. I was barefoot, hair
not combed, dressed in my little
short lounge dress (mumu type), no
bra, no slip, one of those flowered,
silky, pull over your things that all
of us sisters wear.
I have petunias in large pots by the
front gate. I handed George his toast
and said, "I think I will give my
flowers a little water." I stepped
through the gate to get the hose,
turned on the water and stepped
into the courtyard, so no one could
see me, and began to sprinkle the
flowers. George said, "Goodbye".
and drove away. I was just five
minutes, max. I turned off the
water, put up the hose and
stepped around to go into the
garage. and guess what? Yup,
the door was closed! George
had shut it as he drove away. I
wanted to kill him as I began to
say a fervent prayer. "Send
George back, send George back,
PLEASE, send George back!"
When I realized that wasn't
going to work, my prayer became,
"Okay, if you can't send George
back, PLEASE don't let me have
to go to the bathroom.!"
It was only 7:10 a,m. A couple of
men were leaving for work, but
there was no way, dressed the way
I was, I would have asked them, if
I could go into their house to make
a telephone call. It was way to
early to go knocking on doors.
Some people from our church ward
live in the complex, but I couldn't go
strolling around, looking as I did, to
get to their house. I also knew that if
I did get into their house, they would
insist that I stay until George came
home and that would have been
I didn't even know if George would
have his phone on, and big deal if he
did, I didn't remember his number.
I knew Flynn's would have his phone
number, but I had no way to call them.
I thought about asking one of the people
who had walked by on their morning
walk if they would go home, look up
Flynn's number and ask them if they
would call George and tell him to
come home and let me in the house.
I realized that was a stupid idea, if he
did have his phone on, he would be on
the freeway in the morning traffic on his
way to Peoria, Goodyear, or Litchfield,
all a long ways away. Another thing,
Someone from Flynn's could very well
think they had to come and rescue me.
So, I went out the front gate to walk
around to the back of our unit. When I
stepped through the gate, the huge Pit
Bull in the unit to the right, the tiny
Yorkie to the left, and the feisty little
pappillion across the street, all began
to bark at me as I circled around
looking for a weak spot. None! It
was comforting to know that a
burglar or serial killer would have a
difficult time breaking in. Finally,
I said, "Okay, old gal, make the best
of this." So, once again, I circled to
our little patio and could see that
when George got out of the spa last
night, he had not hung up his towel
and had just thrown it on a lounge chair.
For once, I was glad that all of my
griping at him for not hanging it, had
not intimidated him. I was able to
reach through the grate and get it.
I causally strolled back around to
our front gate, dogs still barking at me.
By then, I had worked up an appetite
and was starving. I had seen a bag of
grapefruit by the mail boxes. Merril,
our clean up the complex every day".
guy, always has several bags of citrus
fruit from the fruit trees neatly bagged
and placed by the mailboxes" for the
residents to take. Fortunately, the mail
boxes are just a hop, skip, and a jump
away from us. This time of the
morning, our courtyard is wonder-
fully shady. I sat on George's towel,
peeled the grapefruit and ate them.
They were juicy and delicious. I put
the peeling in the neighbors trash can.
I turned the hose on again and washed
my hands and the sidewalk.
"Okay", I thought, I have probably
killed an hour. Now what?" I snuck
next door and picked up my neighbors
newspaper, she had gone to work, her
daughter, to school. I ignored the
barking Yorkie and spread George's
towel where I could lean against the
wall. "I thought, "This is good,
without my glasses, it will take
me a long time to read the paper."
After I finished, I very carefully pit the
paper back together and spent fifteen
minutes searching for the rubber band,
which had fallen into a crack in the
sidewalk. Even though I don't think she
would have minded, I wanted it to look
like I hadn't borrowed it.
By then, the sun was taking over the
courtyard, so I went by barking Pit Bull
(he is a pussy cat, our strange, new
neighbor, has assured me, but that sure
does not sound like a cat meowing),
went around to the back where there was
some shade, thought about spreading
the towel on the grass and laying on it
with my arms crossed over my chest,
my hands clasping a bunch of Dandy-
lions, but the grass was very wet.
Every time, I walked around back, I
looked at the pool. It was so beautiful
with the lovely furniture, a nice activity
room and a BATHROOM! Of course,
it is all fenced and I would need my key
to get in and out. But, right then all I
wanted was a chair and a drink of water.
I causally walked to the fence, carrying
George's towel. I chose a spot in the
fence that was hidden from view of
the street. Carefully, barefooted and in
my little 'thingie', I carefully climbed
over. I was surprised at how easy it
was. The first thing I discovered, was
that I also needed my key to get into
the bathroom "Oh, well, I would just
have to be tough." I went into the room
that opens to the pool and also has a
view of the entrance and the mailboxes.
By then, I was wondering what time it
was. It seemed like I had been locked
out of my house forever. Lo and Behold!
On the bar I discovered a wrist watch,
missing a strap but ticking merrily away.
It said it was 10:25. If the time was right,
I had only been locked out for three hours
and ten minutes. I sat in a chair where I
could watch cars come in and go out. I
put the beautiful watch in front of me and
thought, "Okay, if the mailman comes
in the next 15 to 20 minutes, I know the
watch is right." He showed up right on
For awhile, the noise of the mailman
sorting the mail and residents coming to
get theirs, kept me entertained, while I
prayed, "Please don't let anyone come to
use the pool, all the time chanting, "Send
George Home! Since the mailman
could only see me from the neck up, I
thought about asking him to give me the
mail from Box 84. I knew the TV Guide
would be there and it would have a cross-
word puzzle, but I didn't have a pencil
and my eyes were strained from reading
the newspaper without my glasses.
By now, it was pool time and I had a plan.
If anyone came, I would wrap George's
large towel around me like I had been in
the pool and had my suit on under my
little 'thingie' I went to the sink at the
bar, wet my hair and combed it with my
fingers If just one person came, I would
just kick back and act like I was relaxing.
If it was a group, I would just saunter
through the gate before it slammed shut
and locked. There was no way I could
climb the fence again because it was prime
traffic, get your mail, catch up on the gossip,
time (Did you see that crazy lady climbing
the pool fence? I think it is the old lady from
#84, she is always doing weird things, she
probably lost her key.)
I figured George could be home anywhere
from one to three hours.. I was killing time
having fun watching the old people come for
their mail. I watched three elderly ladies
slowly make the trek, carrying their canes.
probably as protection from muggers.
Oh no, here comes a lady to use the pool.
She is slim and trim, perfectly groomed and
wearing a beautiful blue swim suit. I jump
up, wrap the towel around me run to sink,
wet my hair, run back, sit down, smile, give
her a pert wave and a cheery "Hello there!"
For awhile I covertly watch her use the pool
and spa and slather herself in sunscreen,
I have to decide, as she leaves, do I ask her to
open the restroom door for me or try to slip
out the gate as she leaves? Neither, because I
would still be locked out of the house, so I
just wave goodbye and continue to stare at
the road, waiting to see a white van. FINALLY,
here it comes! It is 1:00 p.m. I run to the fence
and wait for George to get out of the van. The
side he will get out, faces me.
In a sweet, happy voice, I call, "George". He
looks startled and walks to the fence, looking
confused at my disheveled appearance.
With venom dripping , I snarl, "Use your
key and get me out of here., you shut the
garage door and drove away while I was
watering the petunias." By then, he looks
upset, but I can tell he is laughing as he
unlocks the gate and sweetly says, "Are
I adjust the towel, we stop at the mailbox,
get the mail and stroll on home. Off. and
on, throughout the day, he asks me, "Are
you going to the pool today?" or, was it
nice at the pool today?"
Well that was my day yesterday. As
George was leaving for work this morning,
he asked, " are you going to the pool today?"
And, in a voice I could barely hear, he said,
"Ina, I am shutting the garage door now."
Have a nice day and stop and smell the
flowers, but whatever you do, DON'T
Family History Conference BYU
4 months ago